Sacrifice
by IcyGrrl34
Summary: When John comes to a realization, he learns that some things just require a sacrifice.
1. Chapter 1

Author: IceGrrl34  
  
Title: Sacrifice  
  
E-mail: icygrrl34@hotmail.com  
  
Author's Notes: Took a lot longer to write then I thought. See what happens after you have to write a research paper for an insane English teachers class, lol.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them. But I don't want Kronish to own them. Can I give them back to the first two season's people?  
  
Feedback: Feedback please! Good, bad, ripping my story apart into bits and pieces, all very welcome!  
  
Summary: John comes to a realization but learns that some things just require a sacrifice.  
  
____________________________  
  
  
  
Samantha Waters leaned over her desk and scribbled on the paper, trying to finish up her notes on the case that they just finished in St. Louis. She tapped her pen on the paper a few times, trying to get her thoughts to hurry along, and hummed along to a melody that had been flowing through her head. She felt the seat next to her move as someone sat down, and she looked over at the person who joined her.  
  
"Hey John," she said, giving him a smile.  
  
John, even though he had seen that smile many times, had to take a quick breath before being able to respond.  
  
"Still working on your notes? Why do them on this plane, when there is fun times to be had by all?" he said sarcastically.  
  
"Sure, George is sleeping, Bailey is on the phone with whoever, and Grace is already back in Atlanta."  
  
John scooted a little closer and gave her a little wink.  
  
"John, go back to your seat," she said laughing while giving him a little push.  
  
"Oh sure, I see how it is," he said as he got up and turned to the back of the plane. "No one loves me…"  
  
As he walked back to his seat, his kept thinking back to the picture she made while she laughed. She really was quite beautiful when she laughed.  
  
  
  
****************************************  
  
John entered his apartment and set down his bags before heading over to pour himself a drink. He eased himself onto his couch and leaned back his head with a long sigh. Things were complicated in his life, and even more complicated inside his head. Only recently had he come to the conclusion that he was in love with Sam. Not just love, which they all felt to her in varying degrees, but an all-out kind of love that was giving his head some trouble. In most cases, he probably would have told her already, he wasn't a shy or insecure guy. The fact that she was being stalked by a serial killer who had taken the life of her husband and later another man she was in love with complicated matters.  
  
He took a long drink and turned on the television hoping to take his mind off this. But even as he flipped through the channels, his mind kept wandering back to the blonde woman who he worked with…  
  
"Oh Sam, if you only knew…" 


	2. Chapter 2

John sat at his desk the next day waiting for their next assignment. It seemed that all the killers had taken the day off. Maybe they all caught the flu, he thought with a quirky grin. He let out a little laugh as he thought that.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
He jumped a little as he was brought out of his reverie. He coughed a little as his breath caught in his throat.  
  
"You okay there?" Sam asked with a little grin.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a little catch in my throat," he said.  
  
Sam walked over to the side of his desk and leaned up against it. She folded her arms and quirked her eyebrow and gave him a very quizzical look. Something was clearly bothering John but she couldn't put her finger on it. It was typical John though, to work it out inside his head. But he also had a very agitated look, like he couldn't wait to get it out of his system.  
  
"So, you come out here to psychoanalyze me again for fun?"  
  
Sam laughed a little. "If there was actually work to do, I wouldn't be reduced to doing this."  
  
"Reduced to? Thanks for the compliment Sam, I'll remember it."  
  
"Well, now that you said that, there are better things I could do…"  
  
"No, now that you're out here, you're stuck talking to me," John said.  
  
John's phone started ringing and he reached over to pick it up. He talked for a few seconds before clasping his hand over the mouthpiece and turning to Sam.  
  
"I'm going to be awhile, sorry. See if you can have some fun without me."  
  
"Of course not, I could never have any fun without you there," she said while turning and walking away.  
  
  
  
*******************  
  
Tap, tap, tap.  
  
John tapped his pen on his desk with one hand while he rested his head on his other. No work led him to keep thinking about Sam. It was hard to keep any sense of composure when she was around, since each time she came near him, he acted like a bumbling fool. He wasn't sure how much longer he could just stay near her and talk to her without letting her know that he loved her. It was that little thought that just kept knocking away and festering in his head and…  
  
He couldn't do it anymore. He had to tell her, there was no way around it. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay around her and not go insane if he didn't tell her that he was in love with her.  
  
John let out a little laugh. He could just see himself being carted away on a stretcher while in a straight jacket, laughing like a hyena and singing little made-up songs over and over again. But at least the padded walls might be fun to bounce around on…  
  
He took a deep breath and stood up, determined to go into Sam's office and tell her the truth.  
  
*******************  
  
John stood outside of Sam's office, watching as she moved about, looking through files, putting some away while she held on to the others. He watched as she sat down, read a little, and stood up to begin pacing the room. He just stood outside, a little off to the side, where she probably wouldn't be able to see him, but where he could watch her.  
  
A little voice started nagging him in his head. "You're a coward, you know that. You made a decision, now just get it over with."  
  
John still didn't move from his spot.  
  
"Come on now. It's now or never. She's in there, looking all beautiful and you're out here looking like a little lost puppy. Now come on … move it."  
  
John strode over to Sam's door and knocked on it before sticking his head in.  
  
"Hey, do you mind if I talk to you for a moment and … why are you actually doing work? There's nothing new, you should just relax today, doing nothing … like me," John said with a grin as he sat down.  
  
"Oh, believe me I did. But now that I'm out of chocolate, there's no more relaxing to be had."  
  
John glanced over to the file resting on her desk. He couldn't see much, other then a few pictures resting on the side and handwritten notes covering the page and what appeared to be several other pages below that. Sam walked over behind John and noticed where he was looking and let out a little sigh.  
  
"I figure since there was nothing else to do, I might as well look over my notes on Jack, see if there's something that I missed."  
  
"You've looked over that file so many times, each time looking for something new … if you keep beating yourself up over this file, you're going to burn yourself out and that wouldn't be good for anybody."  
  
Sam ran her fingers through her hair before sitting down in her own desk. John watched as she put her head into her hands and struggle for the answer to give him. He could only imagine what that would encompass and the extraordinary difficulty to explain it.  
  
"You know, I can't just come here everyday and not try to figure out who he is or why he did it or any of the thousands of questions whirring around in my brain. He's just taken so much from me that I can't bear not to do anything about it. It's like misplacing one of your favorite toys as a child, one that you love dearly and you just can't part with. And you search and search until you find it, because you have to. I can't control this. I can't control the wanting to find him and put him away. He took something of mine…"  
  
Sam had to pause for a minute and had to take a deep, calming breath before being able to continue on.  
  
"He took something of mine. Several something's of mine, actually. He took Tom from me. He didn't care what that meant, he just wanted Tom gone and he took something very valuable from me that day. He took every semblance of normalcy I had and totally crushed that. All safety, pride, everything, he took all that from that day. And just when I was actually able to gain some control back over my life, with Coop, he took that also. Every man I have ever loved has been taken from me and I just can't handle that. Jack has taken that from me as well. He's made it impossible for me to love any man right now. It's just very difficult and I just can't sit by and do nothing about it. I have to try."  
  
Sam took a tissue and wiped at her eyes and took several calming breaths. John watched on with sympathy towards her and more than a little anger towards Jack. Sam gave a sad laugh before turning back to John.  
  
"I'm sorry, I know that's not what you came in here, for me just to go off like that. You came in here for something, and I just went off. What was it that you wanted to talk about?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
~Finished~ 


End file.
